For the last week or so I’ve been feeling a bit discouraged and scared about my financial future. I'm in the midst of an experiment to see if I can actually make a living doing things that I love and give me joy. I’ve been exploring ways to turn my love of singing and my love of writing into visible means of support, but I’ve been hitting some walls recently. Consequently, I’m seeing a direct correlation between my decreasing bank balance and my increasing anxiety level. But last night I had a dream...
I was in a house with a friend when suddenly I felt the room shift. I looked out the window and saw that the whole house was beginning to tilt and then rise high in the air, as if lifted by a tornado. As it started to plummet back to earth, I felt my stomach knot in panic with thoughts of inevitable death and disaster. Then I took a long, slow, deep breath and said to my friend, “I’m just going to breathe and surrender”. I closed my eyes, raised my arms and felt myself consciously – almost forcibly – relax and trust. As I did, the house gently settled back to the ground with barely a whisper. And everyone in the house, including myself, simply stepped out the door, safe and unharmed.
I know sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, but I think I’m going to trust that dream.