[su_dropcap]Q.[/su_dropcap] Dear Pat:
I work with people whom I consider to be good friends. However, several of them are on the opposite end of the political spectrum from me. They know where I stand on the issues, but at lunch and on breaks, they invariably start talking politics and say things that insult and offend me. I don't like conflict and I don't want to get into a big debate, so I just smile and try to change the subject as quickly as possible. But it really bothers me that they could be so insensitive to my feelings. On top of that, they're ruining my breaks by making them so stressful. It's a free country and we all have the right to our opinions, but how can I get them to stop bringing up controversial issues at work?
[su_dropcap]Q.[/su_dropcap]Dear Pat:
I’ve worked with “Jane” for three years and though we’re not really friends outside of work, we’ve always gotten along well. Or so I thought. Awhile back I Friended her on Facebook and she accepted. Recently someone else mentioned something Jane had posted which I didn’t see. I did some checking and it turns out that she has un-Friended me! I know that’s her choice, but I it hurts my feelings. We work together on a lot of projects and she still treats me nicely in person, but I don’t feel like I can trust her anymore. Should I confront her or just let it go?
[su_dropcap]Q.[/su_dropcap]Dear Pat:
We work in a small start-up company for a really great guy. He’s a true visionary and we feel lucky to be working with him. When he brought us onboard, he told us we’d be working our butts off getting this thing off the ground, but that we’d all be part of a team – including him. He was right about the work, which includes long hours and a lot of nights and weekends, but we all really care about what we’re trying to create. And when he’s here, he works as hard or harder than anyone. The thing is, he’s the only one of us who has children, and he’s always leaving early to attend their school programs, coach their sports events on weekends, etc., while we’re left to make sure the work gets done and the deadlines are met. He’s a nice person and the rest of us genuinely like him – and his kids – but it doesn’t seem fair, and it isn’t how teams are supposed to be.
[su_dropcap]Q.[/su_dropcap]Dear Pat:
At work we often share and forward jokes to the whole group. It’s an accepted practice and one that we all enjoy. Recently someone forwarded a joke where the punchline was basically implying that someone is bullied and murdered because of their sexual orientation and gender identity. I know the person who sent it didn’t see it that way or it would never have gone out. He’s got many gay friends (though I doubt he has any openly transgender friends). I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to embarrass him or come across as holier-than-thou or Miss Politically Correct. And I don’t want to take myself off the joke list because I usually enjoy the humor.
[su_dropcap]Q.[/su_dropcap]Dear Pat:
I work in a large department, which is headed by an incompetent manager. I’m not being mean. He is just way over his head. He’s very good at the technical side of his job, but when it comes to working with people – especially managing them – he is clueless. He tends to have “favorites” who get special treatment and can do no wrong. That leads to a lot of resentment among the rest of us. Something needs to be done about the tension and low morale, but the manager doesn’t even seem to notice there’s a problem. How can we get him to see the problem and then fix it?
[su_dropcap]Q.[/su_dropcap]Dear Pat:
I have a great job, which I love. I’ve only been here about one year, but already I’m very successful and well-liked. One of my girlfriends was recently laid off and plans to apply for a job at my company. The problem is that I don’t really want her to work at the same place I do. She’d probably do a good job, but what if she doesn’t? People would know we’re friends and that might reflect badly on me. Also, she has a real outgoing, “quirky” personality, which is one of the reasons I like her as a friend. But she rubs a lot of people the wrong way. I want to be a good friend, but I don’t want her to ruin things for me at work. What should I do?
[su_dropcap]Q.[/su_dropcap]Dear Pat:
I work in a service industry and a number of our customers are disabled. I am as sensitive to people with disabilities as the next person, but some of these customers are just plain jerks! They are rude, obnoxious, demanding, and unreasonable. My boss has said we have to treat them with kid gloves because he doesn’t want a lawsuit, but we don’t think we should have to put up with this kind of treatment, just because someone has a handicap.
[su_dropcap]Q.[/su_dropcap]Dear Pat:
I supervise an employee who has been with the company for many years and does an adequate job. He’s no star, but he shows up every day and does the work. I usually expect more than that of employees, but I’m willing to accept this level of performance because he has been with us so long. The problem is his attitude. He has become a chronic complainer who never has anything good to say about the company, his co-workers, or his job. Even though everyone seems to accept that this is just how he is, I believe his negativity is bad for morale. I don’t want to fire him because he’s very close to retirement, but I’m not sure what else to do.
[su_dropcap]Q.[/su_dropcap]Dear Pat:
I'm the only guy in the office. Every time I turn around, one of the women is asking me to lift or carry something. I don't mind helping out once in awhile, but I have my own work to do. What do they do when I'm on vacation?
[su_dropcap]Q.[/su_dropcap]Dear Pat:
One of the women in our department is always trying to get everyone else involved with her squabbles. Whenever I see her in the break room, she starts telling me about how someone else has insulted her or been mean to her. She keeps talking about it until I agree with her just to get her to stop. And it’s not just me. Recently a mutual co-worker did some work on her car. She wasn’t happy with the result or what he charged her, so she sent him a nasty email and copied the whole department! None of us wants to get involved, but we’re afraid if we don’t say something, it will look like we’re taking her side. What should we do?