Personal Consultation & Coaching
Sometimes we all need someone to talk to. Not a therapist or a counselor, but someone who will listen without judging, be a sounding board, maybe offer some objective, informed suggestions of how to proceed. This can be especially helpful when we’re in conflict – with others or with ourselves. I can provide a sympathetic ear and thoughtful, sound advice whether the issue involves a conflict or dispute at work, in your neighborhood or in a relationship, or a decision about career, living arrangements or other life choices. I can help you explore your options and think through what you might say or do to reach resolution.
Assistance with Written Communication
Have you ever had to write a difficult letter or email to someone? When there’s a conflict, the best approach is for the individuals involved to discuss it, but when tensions are high, direct communication can be difficult and unproductive. This is because people in conflict tend to react defensively when approached by their “adversaries”. I often advise clients to begin with written communication – a letter, email or note. People are less likely to react and more likely to respond when given a chance to read something and have time to mull it over. I can help you put into words the information or feelings you are trying to express to the other party, in language that is less likely to inflame the situation and more likely to help you get the results you want.
In some cases, two people simply cannot communicate directly with each other. This usually happens when the conflict has been going on for awhile and there are hurt feeling and anger on both sides. In those cases, it can be useful to have a go-between to provide a sort of “shuttle diplomacy”, going back and forth between the two individuals or groups, with the goal of helping achieve better understanding and a mutually satisfactory resolution. I can provide that 3-way communication when required.
As noted, the very best way to resolve a conflict is for the individuals involved to sit down together, discuss their issues and concerns, and arrive at a mutually agreeable solution. The problem is, most people in a conflict find that very difficult, if not impossible, to do without a neutral third party to facilitate the conversation. Sometimes a friend or manager can play that role, but often that person is not seen as neutral by one or both of the individuals and can unintentionally slip into a directive or problem-soving role, which defeats the purpose. I and all of my associates are well-trained, qualified mediators with many years’ experience facilitating resolution in a wide variety of cases, including workplace, neighborhood, family, divorce, landlord/tenant, parent/adolescent, estate/inheritance, etc.